Herzschrittsünde

Heute keine Bilder, sondern…

…you know you’re a Londoner when:

[x] You don’t even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is OVERCAST.

[x] You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.

[x] You can’t remember what ‚customer service‘ means.

[x] After a big night out you find yourself in a Curry house and not a 24 hour McDonalds.

[x] You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

[ ] More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

[x] You have memorised the bus route home and manage to get back every time even when you’re half concious half drunk beyond the edge of reason.

[x] You don’t think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

[x] You feel utterly lost if you’re not within 10 mins of a Tesco/Sainsbury’s Local .

[x] You finish every sentence with „Cheers“ or „Innit“, and start every conversation with „Hiya“. (Manchmal…)

[ ] You only just realise you have lost your sunglasses – you left them in Greece two summers ago.

[x] You start thinking English cuisine isn’t all that bad after all, I mean, it’s hard to beat a full English breakfast.

[ ] You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.

[ ] You actually say, „Sor’ed“ or „it’s all gone a bit pear shaped“.

[x] Seeing men wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal.

[x] You have given up complaining about the Victorian-like banking services offered, being in a line for an entire lunch break between lectures is now just acceptable. (Post Offices…vergesst die Post Offices nicht! Die sind fast noch schlimmer als Banken…)

[x] You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late as no-one notices or even cares. In fact – you may even pop into Pret a Manger for a hot drink and some breakfast first.

[x] You say sentences like „fuckin tourists“.

[ ] Coming to work or uni with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week following cheapskates.

[x] You say „the City“ and expect everyone to know which one.

[ ] You snigger at the price when you buy a round whilst visiting mates in other cities.

[x] You’re too cheap to bother buying a newspaper as you anyway know that you’ll find a Metro/The London Paper on a seat.

[ ] Your family tells you you have a Southern twang and you say „naah I’ve alwiss talked like this init“ (Obwohl… „I’ve got an oidea“… :D)

[x] £1.50 for 3 bus stops seems reasonable.

[ ] The ink from your oyster card has begun to blend with your skin, yes, your palm is NOT supposed to be blue.

[x] £300,000 is an acceptable price for a box room above a newsagents.

[x] Unsolicited friendliness from strangers is met with you looking directly at the floor, cos let’s face it they’re either going to ask you for money or tell you about God.

[x] You’ve become accustomed to the clipboard crew slalom on the high street and now you’re ducking and diving past the chuggers like a pro without an ounce of eye contact.

[x] You expect 15% gratuity to be automatically added when your bill is delivered to your table, after all it’s not up to you to decide whether the staff have earned it.

[ ] You have a minimum of five „worst cabbie ride ever“ stories to tell.

[x] You begin to pack summer clothes for the tube journey and a suit & raincoat for a quick chage in the Westminster public loos.

[ ] You know the Underground replacement bus service drivers by name and shift.

[x] The safe bloke sitting across from you on the tube seems strangely familiar, yet you wonder when did you start using words like „safe“, „bloke“ and why does „tube“ seem like a normal word for a train?

[x] There is a tube map in your pocket/handbag right now – but you don’t need it anyway as you know the map by heart.

[ ] Everyone past of the Watford gap to your believe is northerner and should be treated as such.

[x] You refer to area’s by postcode and actually understand where W1 and SW6 is.

[x] You venture past your own zone and zone 1 only if you’re feeling adventurous.

[x] When you can’t hear sirens in the background you think….its quiet…too quiet!

[ ] You only receive half of your birthday cards and none that were supposed to contain cash.

[x] You expect an attendant to be waiting in the bathroom with perfume, deodorant and hand towels.

[x] Its normal to barge your way through a sea of people at a tube station, bump people out of the way and not say sorry once – all without your eye contact deviating from the ticket gate.

[ ] You know a quicker way to your destination than the cab is taking you.

[x] You know how to use the Tube, the Silverlink, the Overground, the National Rail, Thameslink and Virgin Trains.

[x] You know at least three different ways to get from A to B, their pros and cons and decide for a route depending on price, means of transportation, traffic and time.

[x] The pierced guy or the Jesus Freak (or both) in Camden greet you when you pass by.
(Yes…the pierced one!)

[x] You have 35 different take-away menus next to your telephone.
(54…ich hab gezählt!)

[x] If someone tells you about a person under a train you’re not sorry for the person but annoyed as that means „Northern Line – Severe Delays“.

[ ] Essex is „the countryside.“

[x] You have been stuck on a tube train between two stations for more than 30 minutes.
(Ja…ziemlich genau 30 Minuten. Und das auch noch zwischen Arsenal und Finsbury Park!)

Score: 35 out of 48

Und? Bin ich jetzt Londoner?! 😉

Tags: London

2 Kommentare »

Trackback URI | Kommentare als RSS